How to lose your fear in life

What is holding us back as human beings? Fear. We're afraid to lose, afraid to fail, afraid of humiliation. Yet when we look at other people failing we don't feel the restrictive fear that we feel with ourselves, the one big reason for this is that we see this other person as simply that - another person – the third person perspective. Because the failure is not happening to us we are able to comfortably give advice and assistance (providing we don't become part of the problem and fail ourselves of course), we may feel bad for this person, but we can feel comfortable that at the end of the day this failure isn't happening to us.

When we feel comfortable we are able to think clearly and rationally and come up with tons of solutions to a problem. But when we are in a state of embarrassment or fear or failure our mind becomes clouded, and instead of unleashing our problem solving potential we worry, cry, scream etc (which are all negative emotions in themselves).

What we need to do is regardless of the negative emotion think clearly about your own life and realise that you have nothing to worry about. This technique may seem complicated, but its very easy to simplify, read it, try it, then CREATE your own way of getting results.

Other people have been there before you

We are all human beings – if you really think to basics – just bags of meat with conscious and subconscious abilities. Whatever problem you might be having has most probably been done before by hundreds of thousands of people, no matter how rare it seems, other people have felt depression, fear, anxiety, happiness, joy, love as strong or as weak as you may be feeling it now. Other people have had and lived with strong physical pain, what makes it so difficult for you is that you are first person focused and have trouble looking past (or behind) yourself. Even a selfless person does these deeds to feel good themselves, we can't help it, it's in our nature.

But we are able to change our stance on how we feel the emotions and how we can think around them even if they are happening, if we do this we can make decisions without fear and easily live happily ever after.

Look at yourself from the third person

Most of Generation Y will find this easy as they were the kids that played computer or console games growing up, some of these games required us to control a man (or woman) through levels to collect things, complete missions or battle the character's enemy. Sometimes you controlled the character through the first person – to get a sense that you were really 'in' the game. Other times it was from a third person perspective, the camera situated itself about a metre above and behind the character. You were able to control the character and see its effects in the game. Whatever happened to this character was no real problem to you, you weren't afraid of dying, if you lost all your money then you'd just look around for more (or ways to find more), you had no problem talking to other characters in the game as you knew that you weren't actually talking to them, your character was!

If you could apply this perspective to your real life then you will find that your fear will disappear! All you have to do is just imagine yourself in the third person, then make it seem like you're controlling another person. Simple.

Try a simple exercise.

You are sitting at your computer, try to close any distractions, put on some music that really makes you feel good. Can you imagine what it would be like looking at yourself staring at the computer screen (reading this blog perhaps)? See the back of your head sitting on your shoulders, your arms may be by your side or resting on the desk in front of you. Do this a few times to get the hang of it, don't worry if you can only do it for a second or two, thats all you need. Can you see yourself do any tasks, open a program or book, hold a pen in your hands. If you can do that then the rest of life is easy.

Apply this technique to problems in the real world, you have a nasty break up with a girlfriend/boyfriend, take 5 and imagine yourself looking at yourself arguing or crying or doing things that feel very uncomfortable. If you can see yourself from that perspective then you might have a realisation that everything is not as bad as it seems, you have seen other people go through the same problems.

What about with money? In the game world when you need money you simply find ways of getting more and achieve them. This is exactly the same way in the real world, yet people feel so much fear and it holds them back. See yourself in the third person doing a thing – a legal thing – that might net you some money, an investment perhaps. It's just that much easier controlling a game character to do the thing, so try 'controlling' yourself from the third person. Result? No fear. If you lose money, then you can find another way to gain money. Complicate things less and you will find you are able to think clearer. And thinking is what turns your dreams into reality.

We are all capable of great things, as humans we can do anything, It's those people that are able to shed the fear that really achieve their dreams that they originally had. I have found the third person perspective technique invaluable of instantly removing any fear I may have in any given moment, new job, new house, selling/buying stocks, public speaking. And yet these things are tiny to what other people have achieved, if they can do it so can you.

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