30 January 2008

How to lose your fear in life

What is holding us back as human beings? Fear. We're afraid to lose, afraid to fail, afraid of humiliation. Yet when we look at other people failing we don't feel the restrictive fear that we feel with ourselves, the one big reason for this is that we see this other person as simply that - another person – the third person perspective. Because the failure is not happening to us we are able to comfortably give advice and assistance (providing we don't become part of the problem and fail ourselves of course), we may feel bad for this person, but we can feel comfortable that at the end of the day this failure isn't happening to us.

When we feel comfortable we are able to think clearly and rationally and come up with tons of solutions to a problem. But when we are in a state of embarrassment or fear or failure our mind becomes clouded, and instead of unleashing our problem solving potential we worry, cry, scream etc (which are all negative emotions in themselves).

What we need to do is regardless of the negative emotion think clearly about your own life and realise that you have nothing to worry about. This technique may seem complicated, but its very easy to simplify, read it, try it, then CREATE your own way of getting results.

Other people have been there before you

We are all human beings – if you really think to basics – just bags of meat with conscious and subconscious abilities. Whatever problem you might be having has most probably been done before by hundreds of thousands of people, no matter how rare it seems, other people have felt depression, fear, anxiety, happiness, joy, love as strong or as weak as you may be feeling it now. Other people have had and lived with strong physical pain, what makes it so difficult for you is that you are first person focused and have trouble looking past (or behind) yourself. Even a selfless person does these deeds to feel good themselves, we can't help it, it's in our nature.

But we are able to change our stance on how we feel the emotions and how we can think around them even if they are happening, if we do this we can make decisions without fear and easily live happily ever after.

Look at yourself from the third person

Most of Generation Y will find this easy as they were the kids that played computer or console games growing up, some of these games required us to control a man (or woman) through levels to collect things, complete missions or battle the character's enemy. Sometimes you controlled the character through the first person – to get a sense that you were really 'in' the game. Other times it was from a third person perspective, the camera situated itself about a metre above and behind the character. You were able to control the character and see its effects in the game. Whatever happened to this character was no real problem to you, you weren't afraid of dying, if you lost all your money then you'd just look around for more (or ways to find more), you had no problem talking to other characters in the game as you knew that you weren't actually talking to them, your character was!

If you could apply this perspective to your real life then you will find that your fear will disappear! All you have to do is just imagine yourself in the third person, then make it seem like you're controlling another person. Simple.

Try a simple exercise.

You are sitting at your computer, try to close any distractions, put on some music that really makes you feel good. Can you imagine what it would be like looking at yourself staring at the computer screen (reading this blog perhaps)? See the back of your head sitting on your shoulders, your arms may be by your side or resting on the desk in front of you. Do this a few times to get the hang of it, don't worry if you can only do it for a second or two, thats all you need. Can you see yourself do any tasks, open a program or book, hold a pen in your hands. If you can do that then the rest of life is easy.

Apply this technique to problems in the real world, you have a nasty break up with a girlfriend/boyfriend, take 5 and imagine yourself looking at yourself arguing or crying or doing things that feel very uncomfortable. If you can see yourself from that perspective then you might have a realisation that everything is not as bad as it seems, you have seen other people go through the same problems.

What about with money? In the game world when you need money you simply find ways of getting more and achieve them. This is exactly the same way in the real world, yet people feel so much fear and it holds them back. See yourself in the third person doing a thing – a legal thing – that might net you some money, an investment perhaps. It's just that much easier controlling a game character to do the thing, so try 'controlling' yourself from the third person. Result? No fear. If you lose money, then you can find another way to gain money. Complicate things less and you will find you are able to think clearer. And thinking is what turns your dreams into reality.

We are all capable of great things, as humans we can do anything, It's those people that are able to shed the fear that really achieve their dreams that they originally had. I have found the third person perspective technique invaluable of instantly removing any fear I may have in any given moment, new job, new house, selling/buying stocks, public speaking. And yet these things are tiny to what other people have achieved, if they can do it so can you.

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21 January 2008

My stars for this week

Rip It Up is an Adelaide street magazine which has information about artists, gigs, food, drink and anything social thats happenning. At the back of the mag, they have the most accurate and profound star signs that I've ever read. This week just blew me away:

Last year was a huge education for you, with so much learning and growing that you may feel a little exhausted. The good news is that now you can really shine, armed with your newfound knowledge, skills and inner power and show everyone what you have accomplished. You'll feel more confident than ever.


For those of you who read this blog you'll identify that that is exactly what has been going on in 2007. And this is really paying off already in regards to my personal and professional life.

I'm a Leo by the way :)

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17 January 2008

Why do I feel this way at a festival?

I see everywhere that people love being around other people, when around them, the weaker ones are often influenced by the stronger ones, usually those with the best speaking and storytelling ability. Is it the fact that the strong ones are able to deliver a great mind picture? Or is it something that goes beyond conscious ability? Maybe we really enjoy being in large groups to feel what others are feeling or what a group feeling would be like.

Sure by looking at someone's external emotional indicators (facial features, verbal expression) we can determine how they are feeling and react accordingly. But in large groups you can't examine every single person, yet the feeling (or vibe perhaps) is still felt, if enough people feel the same thing. Over the last few months I have seen examples of this and done a small social experiment.

Festivals are a great reason for people to get together and experience this group emotion, they sometimes go to see a lot of their friends in once place, but more commonly go to listen to their favourite music played by their favourite performers. A heap of likeminded people in the one place definitely alters the thoughts of the individual.

Imagine yourself going to one, you get in the gate, perhaps you have to line up for hours or get in instantly, that's your first personal impression (and a most obvious one). You comment with your friends as you enter, if they agree you find happiness that your view is shared by other people, that happiness then projects your other feeling (wether positive or negative). This is then amplified if others are feeling the same thing, think of adding power to a radio transmitter.

Now with this amplified power another group with no knowledge (or feeling) of what is 'in the air' comes with the intention of entering the gates. Their thoughts would be influenced (slightly) by the feelings flying about the air. Our conscious minds are not so much aware of it, but if you sense a change in feeling, maybe you weren't in such a good mood before you arrived, you might feel your mood change for no apparent reason. People come together in these groups to listen to music they enjoy, and to feel the positive emotions that this type of music gives them. Lots of people in one space feeling happy, it just makes sense.

Even if it's a negative type of music, the listeners are brought together to appreciate something that they all enjoy. Enjoyment – Happiness.

Other things can make this gathering a positive or a negative one, but it really has to be felt on a large scale which is why the musicians have so much control over the overall emotion of the crowd. Those who strive to make the crowd happy, perhaps with audience involvement or good acting performance will leave with everyone in the crowd feeling refreshed and having a very high regard for the act.

Next time you go to a club, festival, concert whatever, see if you notice your mood change, ask yourself why it does so. "Oh but it was the energy of the crowd/performer", or "I was drunk with friends". Almost any 'conscious' reason you can give can be attributed to your feelings being suggested by the group emotion.

14 January 2008

How to Slow Down Now

Zen Habits has a great (guest written) article on slowing down your life to think more clearly and have better health. The most obvious thing is for stress, but slowing down can have great impact on other things like digestion, idea generating and mastering conversation.

More haste, less speed, or haste makes waste are a well-known sayings. When under pressure, the ability to act slowly and deliberately is a benefit. The wise carpenter measures twice and cuts once. Taking time to read the map instead of blindly heading off in what you guess might be the right direction makes sense.
How to Slow Down Now (Please Read Slowly) - Zen Habits

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